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When we are addicted to someone or something, it means we behave like a slave because we allow the person or strong habit to control us. It is what we do in excess in order to avoid our painful feelings (hurt, anger, fear, loneliness, emptiness, etc.). Therefore, addictions are often the symptoms and not the causes of our troubles. They make us feel better for a short period of time but then we soon need another "fix", because we still have the pain from the underlying negative feelings. Ironically, our addictions cause us even more problems and result in additional pain. For example, an alcoholic often loses his or her job, has unsuccessful relationships, and suffers from physical problems brought on by the alcohol. The workaholic finds their loved ones complaining that they are never around. They may make more money but probably spend more for medical problems because of their self-induced stress. The first helpful thing to do to overcome your addictions is to be honest with yourself and recognize your extreme behaviors. The following questionnaire will help you to identify your unhealthy habits. Put a check next to the description of your behavior. A. I eat or drink in excess: ______1. Food ______2. Alcohol ______3. Coffee ______4. Carbonated beverages ______5. Chocolate ______6. Ice cream ______7. Candy ______8. Pastry ______9. Bread ______10. Other _____ B. I feel a compulsion (not in control of myself) to do a lot of: ______1. Work ______ 2. Running/Sports ______3. Shopping ______4. Yelling ______5. Creating ______ 6. Smoking ______ 7. Gambling ______ 8. Drugs ______ 9. Cleaning/organizing ______ 10. Other ___________ C. I feel no matter how much I have, I always want more: ______1. Money ______ 2. Sex ______ 3. Affection ______ 4. Cars ______ 5. Clothes ______ 6. Material things ______7. Attention ______ 8. Machines/Tools (including computers) ______ 9. Power ______ 10. Other _____ D. I spend a lot of time: ______1. Playing ______2. Reading ______3. Writing ______4. Watching television/movies ______5. Collecting things ______6. At the computer ______7. Complaining ______8. Fixing things ______9. Joking ______10. Other _____ To further understand yourself, fill in the following statements: E. When I am upset I: 1. ______________________________________________________ 2. ______________________________________________________ 3. ______________________________________________________ F. I have a habit of: 1. ______________________________________________________ 2. ______________________________________________________ 3. ______________________________________________________ G. I am addicted to: 1. ______________________________________________________ 2. ______________________________________________________ 3. ______________________________________________________ H. I wish that I could stop (a behavior): 1. ______________________________________________________ 2. ______________________________________________________ 3. ______________________________________________________ Positive Behavior Now that you understand your avoidance habits, write a check next to the following things that appeal to you to help you overcome your addictions. When I am aware of my habit controlling me, I can do the following: ______1. Take at least ten slow, deep breaths (count to six on the inhale and exhale). ______2. Ask myself, "What negative thought am I thinking?" Then imagine that I am burning it away and replacing it with a positive thought. ______3. Listen to a self-help tape. ______4. Read a self-help book. ______5. Drink water with or without lemon. ______6. Eat a low calorie vegetable. ______7. Take a walk. ______8. Call someone I trust and share my feelings with them. ______9. Take a class to raise my self-esteem. Congratulate yourself for being willing to identify and overcome your addictions, choose healthier habits, and take control of your life.
Article Source: http://www.thehealthmanual.com
©2007 Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. The article is excerpts from her new book, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!” She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. www.lovetopeace.com , 1-888-639-6390.
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